Debates have always had
me in rapt attention. I might not understand the context or have in-depth view
of the said topic, but I enjoy a good argument worded rightly to be termed a
debate. The one that has fancied me in the recent times has been the arguments,
oops, debates among mothers about other mothers. To put it more precisely, it’s
a debate between stay at home moms and working moms. I found the former more
critical of the latter’s choices, with self-proclaimed badge of honor for being
a doting mom.
Coming to the debate,
so what exactly is it like to be either one of them. Lets first take the stay
at home types. It is a sad reality that most women quit their career in order
to take care of the little ones. The typical Indian mom has always been on the
receiving end of bearing the responsibility of nurturing the child and looking
after the house too. In my humble opinion it is a Himalayan task to put ones
needs behind and attend to everyone else. India has the maximum number of qualified
moms who sacrifice their dreams and aspirations for the well-being of the
child. For all you know, the work of a stay at home mom is never ending and
even more demanding than any other profession. Once the kids get into
mainstream school there is ample time in her hand which creates a void in her.
A void which gets filled with doubts and insecurities leading to stress and
depression. That would be the effects on the mom; but what about the child? The
over ambitious mom is at the beck and call 24/7 for 365 days. There are much
more chances of having an entitled kid or over protective moms.
What about the other
side of the debate? The working moms do not play a different ball game. They
just play it differently. Now what exactly is different in their life? Women
are known to be good at multi-tasking which in turn leads to more efficiency.
Whatever may be the reason for their choice, the working moms have an added
commitment to work and set personal goals to feel a sense of achievement. Studies have proven that working moms suffer
lesser bouts of depression and have lesser health issues. Due to time
constraints, the kids learn to be independent at a much younger age and are
less entitled than the former. The one on one time, though limited, becomes
more precious and meaningful. It is not to say that the working moms have it
all. They have their sets of guilt and doubts too. A tingling feeling of
leaving sick ones at home or working on holidays have them in a fix.
Whether the woman is
working or not, is totally irrelevant in India. The work load and stress are
equally the same in both cases. In either scenario, the moms should keep track
of their personal happiness. It should be the driving force in making crucial
decisions. There is no such thing as one choice is better than the other. What
suits one may not be suitable for the other. But whatever the choice may be,
let it be yours. The one that satisfies and feeds your soul. We all have a
limited time frame in this world; let us make the best out of it and not criticize
each other. As woman braving this motherhood thing, let us all create a safe
circle for each other and support moms everywhere, be it working or not.
Cheers
to motherhood.
Nithya Pradeep
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