Rethinking Gender Biases.

Feminism and related theories have been floating around the globe and media for a very long time with many bearing fruit in highlighting the plight of women and their issues. The so called weaker sex has somehow got a firm grip on their gender defined roles. But have we ever stopped to think about the other sex, the men folk who are also pinched by the various masculine stereotypes?

There are several instances where women have broken through stereotypes and roles set for them. Gone are the days when women were pushed in the kitchen to take care of household chores and stay meek and coy. Yet, while women are breaking new ground almost every day, we hear little about men who are breaking out of moulds. If women feel they are forced into stereotypes, what about men? Are they not expected to always be strong, hard-working, and aggressive, earn money for the family, drink at social gatherings and hold a stern posture even at the face of adversity? These are roles forced on men by society and any men wanting to break away from these expectations faces ostracism and is considered effeminate.

Most foreigners visiting Asian regions openly criticize men for their small built, long straight hair and feminine features. People mock men who go for a plastic surgery to correct their appearance and for the huge colorful bags that they sport. Why are men subject to such criticism…? Is it because men are expected to have six pack muscles, with military cut hair and tucked in formal wear even when they are on a trip to Hawaii or because the idiot box portrays such men as the real hero and the rest as jokers from a deck of cards?

Due to such stereotyping, many men stifle parts of their personalities, often the more creative parts because they feel they must conform to the norms set by the society. There are umpteen numbers of men who have given up their dream to be accepted as a part of the society. I have come across simple men who have been caregivers for women in their families, fathers who cherish the joys of bringing up a daughter, men who come to terms with their sexuality etc.

Media also plays a major role in this gender bias. Media portrays images of the strong, aggressive, macho male with very few ads acknowledging the feminine side of men, the dominant image still remains the same. Men are considered weak and ineffectual if they cannot demonstrate male strengths. And even though much has changed in terms of women’s status, these overwhelming expectations continue to burden the men who want to be different. What gives us the right to judge other people and their lifestyle? Why can’t we just let people be as whatever they want and accept them with their differences. Growing up with such gender biases we are further pushing our kids in a mould that restrict their growth as an individual. As kids we asked so many questions and every sentence started with “Why”. Why have we stopped to question the norms once we grow up and meekly stare at the stereotypes and blindly follow them? Why not break the shackles free and live the life that we cherish in our dreams. Every individual has the right to follow his instincts and be free from any biases, be it male or female stereotypes.

It’s a pity to note that often men face as lonely a battle at breaking away from stereotypes as do women which goes unnoticed in this fast paced society. Just as women have chipped away at all-male domains and opened up for themselves and altered some gender stereotypes, men too are beginning to question accepted societal norms for male behavior and roles. They are taking a chance at being different. We need to acknowledge and accommodate these in the long term, as there can be no lasting change for women if men also don’t change.

Life Inside Me!

Nithya Kamakshi Pradeep.

Everyone goes through various phases in life: From childhood to teenager; teenager to an adult; from adulthood to a parent. Being in the threshold of the phases of life holds much apprehension and mixed feelings. Becoming a parent is an incredible milestone in ones life and the thought of a new life growing from within is a true miracle that many fail to understand. The prospect of becoming a mother for the first time can lead to emotions ranging from pure joy to absolute terror. A woman transforms practically overnight into a mechanical incubator torn apart with every emotions imaginable. Fear and joy are intertwined into thoughts of the future, clouding this immense moment.

Few months ago I discovered that I am in the family way, changing my world forever, a simple preface to the considerably intricate phenomenon of life. My eyes smile at me at my reflection in the mirror, shining with excitement, blurred by questions and incredulity, I put my hand on my tummy and smile “Am I really having a life inside me?”. How amazing and wonderful life turns out to be in moments. No more Coffee, no more cola, old lifestyle comes to a screeching halt and life starts. How great it feels to get over my weaknesses, as I am acting instinctively on what's best for our baby, our sweet child is, without knowing, prompting what is best for me. A commitment to a new life that sets me free...to live and love unconditionally.

The first and foremost fear that struck me was the lack of knowledge of rearing a child. With the Net and umpteen number of parenting books put me back in track and I landed up reading all that I can about pregnancy and childcare. Reading all these pregnancy and parenting books gave me an assurance to glide through the initial phase until the day we saw the first scan and heartbeat of our little wonder. There are many aspects of pregnancy that were absolutely pleasurable. The recognition of the first kick, hearing the baby's heartbeat on the Doppler, seeing the ultrasound photos, talking to other expectant parents to share in their experiences and most important of all preparing for the baby's arrival. Even daydreaming about what our baby would look like or if it is going to be a boy or a girl.

Being in the final trimester seems to take a lifetime. One day it feels like the baby will take an eternity to make its arrival but the next moment it feels like things are changing before I can gather time to face the situation and even feels like I will never be ready to hold him in my arms. One beautiful hobby that has now become my daily activity is recording the joyful moments of pregnancy in the form of a journal. It’s more a scrapbook to record those spectacular events like the first kick and to store the entire ultrasound photo.

Despite all these fears and mixed emotions, the constant encouragement and pure excitement from grandparents-to-be and the equally exuberant father-to-be keeps my spirit high. It is often said that a mother and baby are born together, bonded by an instinct no words can describe. The most extreme happiness is shared in that moment between the two and all worries are vanquished for this brief time.

Pregnancy has become a very interesting metaphor in my life. Daily challenges, unexplainable pain, but little glimpses of joy along the way. Once things settle down, I am sure we won't be able to imagine a life without our pride and our little bundle of joy.

Vegging out in Ulsan

Nithya Kamakshi Pradeep.

Part of living in a new country is trying new things, which includes trying new food, but when new foods contradict your personal ethics or philosophies, this can be hard. Eating out as a vegetarian in Korea can be tiring, but Ulsan takes the cake. Ulsan’s restaurants offer some fine options for the less particular amongst us, but the majority is hardly vegetarian friendly.

The vegetarian diet has increased in popularity. While many people are vegetarian for cultural, religious or ecological reasons, sticking to ones principles while socializing in Korea is difficult but not impossible. Contrary to the general belief, a county with Buddhist influences such as South Korea has very little to offer for vegetarians and vegans. And the worst part is being scorned at by meat-lovers who invariably fail to understand that vegetarianism is a choice of life for many.

The health benefits associated with vegetarianism go beyond simply having better eating habits. According to dieticians around the world, “Vegetarian diets have been credited with decreasing the incidence or severity of heart disease, hypertension, biventricular disease, cancer, colon, prostate and lung, and osteoporosis and gallstones. In addition to being richer in fruits and vegetables, vegetarian diets tend to be lower in total fat”.

Most vegetarians do much of the cooking at home, not for the love of cooking, but for the satisfaction of not eating any meat accidently. Korea is not an easy place to be a vegetarian but having a Korean write down on a piece of paper what you don’t want in a dish, works out much simpler. In spite of being specific, sometimes your food could still contain animal products, Korean call it “service”. People here just take the animal product out of the dish while the taste and partial remains still exist. Unfortunately, it will probably happen that you will accidentally eat animal products here, even if you are careful. Why does being a vegetarian pose such a dilemma in Korea? Vegetarianism is not a Korean concept and Koreans pity people who do not eat meat. Instead of blaming them, we should try to work our way around.

If you have decided to cook your own meal, then locating the right ingredients could pose a major problem. Finding lentils, chickpeas, extra-firm tofu, Indian spices, coconut milk, good cheese and other staples of the vegetarian diet might be next to impossible in a normal Korean store. There are several grocery stores that cater to the foreign pallet, like the Foreigner’s Town (052-245-5161, 227-2010), Asian Food Mart (in Bangeojin), and Asia Shipping Co. (018-580-1031) all offer a good variety of lentils, chick peas, curry powders and more. In upscale department stores, like COSTCO there is usually a foreign food section offering a wide variety of canned food.

If you are not the kind who would like to toil in the kitchen and would prefer to eat out, then there are vegetarian options in Ulsan, although few. Indo Yohang restaurant in old downtown (behind CGV), Ocean View restaurant near Ilsan Beach (052-235-7777), CHAI restaurant in Samsan-dong (052-903-8889), and Ulsan Vegelove Vegetarian Restaurant in Jung-Gu, Boksan (052-297-4844, 017-872-2038) are excellent vegetarian options. Veggie-specific restaurants are not abundant in Korea other than offering the temple food, but most foreign restaurants and Indian restaurants offer delicious vegetarian dishes.

Being a vegetarian in Korea requires more determination than what is required back home. It takes more work to maintain a healthy veggie lifestyle in Korea with a lack of dining out options, but it’s worth it in the long run!

Mission Kimchi

Winter has finally arrived on the Korean peninsula. Winter in Korea also means it’s time to make kimchi. Kimjang is the traditional Korean period in which Kimchi is prepared for Um-dong, the coldest 3 or 4 months of winter.

A couple of days ago, Kelly Kwon informed us about the kimchi making event. Being a vegetarian I had my doubts about the dish and preferred to stay away from the famed pickle. But a stronger appeal by Mr. Karl Shim of FLIK made me budge and before long I was also in the list of ladies trying their hand at making kimchi. A handful of people headed over to the Seobu Soccer Field to make this spicy cabbage concoction and were pleasantly surprised by the huge crowd gathered at the ground and by the mountains of cabbage and washtubs full of red pepper paste. I was told by my fellow companions that the Kimchi would be a Christmas gift to an orphanage. Even more reasons to soil your hands. We were covered from head to toe with raincoat, rubber gloves and scarves before we embarked on our mission, Mission Kimchi.

Kimchi, despite its reputation as rotten cabbage, actually refers to the process whereby vegetables are pickled using a paste made up of red pepper powder, garlic, ginger, radish and green onion. Basically, to make kimchi, you grab the head of a cabbage (which has been washed and quartered) in one hand and a handful of the pepper paste in the other. Using a kind of washing motion, you rub the red pepper into the individual leaves until the head is covered in the paste. It’s then placed into a separate tub and sprinkled with salt to speed up the pickling process.We spent the better part of that afternoon rubbing pepper paste in the cabbage and posing to eager photographer trying to capture a weagookin’s interest in kimchi. Being organized by HHI, the event witnessed many famous personalities whose names my mind failed to register. After all the backbreaking process, we were treated to a delicious Korean meal, which unfortunately I had to skip due to my lack of appetite. Overall the kimchi making event gave me an idea of the beloved Korean side dish.